warning: pathetic
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Sorry, I’m not sorry for blasting some of my photos from Riverrock tonight! It was so great to be behind the scenes helping out and being able to get great photos from the competition!
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I would love to be small and graceful. However, I feel like I’m cursed with the genes of a giant, clumsy female and let me tell you, that’s something to dislike myself for.
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I want to sleep, because it’s late and I have a meeting in the morning. However, I’m not tired, and I can’t stretch my legs out due to a small cat in the bend of my knees. I am both annoyed and delighted at the same time.
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I just scheduled my first pole class, and while I am incredibly nervous about it, I’m also pretty excited too. Wish me luck, and hope I can hold my own strength-wise!
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I really like pampering myself and pretending like I’m really pretty. I think that’s why I can rationalize spending too much money on things like bath bombs and face masks. Oops.
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I had a really great day today.
Then, I came home, and
everything and
everyone and
myself
feels wrong,
not happy,
not great,
not good.
I just want to have a great day again, and
not have it ruined by everything else.
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I had a really wonderful day. I found out great news at my place of work that will be discussed later on in the week, I took an easy exam and got a 105% on the first half and was out in an hour, and I managed to get some studying in for my Religious Studies exam tomorrow.
But I’m actually still pretty sad tonight despite all that. Both cats are warming my legs, but I still feel pretty down in the dumps.
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I went to the gym tonight and found out I’m back around 140, and after not working out and eating everything in my sight from being sick, I’ve lost quite a bit of strength. However, I still tried as hard as I could, and I think I did a decent workout tonight. I also let myself sit in the sauna for a bit and lost track of time. I really would like to lose weight and stop hating everything I see in the mirror. I’m really unhappy with myself.
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I have never had as many opportunities that I’ve worked for like I have right now. This weekend I will be helping film and sell DVDs from the footage shot of a ballet. I’m also probably (hopefully, crossing so many fingers) going to be taking over the leadership of my climbing gym/place of work’s youngest climbing team. I am so excited for these chances to prove myself. I can not wait to see what else may come my way, and where these opportunities will take me.
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I am in love with a man.
A man who stands out for so many reason.
A man who makes me smile the second I see him.
A man who smiles when he sees me.
A man who does wonderful things for and to me.
A man who will stay up with me, even if I’m asleep.
A man who is intelligent, creative and fun.
A man who makes me laugh, even if I hid it at first.
A man who holds me when I need it, and even when I don’t.
A man who supports me in everything I think and do.
A man who loves me, and I love in return.
A man that makes me proud to be his.
I am in love with the most perfect man to ever exist.
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No, I’m not sitting in the edit bay watching my documentary and eating a ridiculous amount of Twizzlers, why would you think that.
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Things are better today. I’m 3:26 into editing a 10:00 long documentary that’s due on Tuesday. However, I’m feeling awesome about it because everything looks good as of now. I’m not even stressed about losing three days worth of footage. I am calm, and I feel better, and I’m with a perfect man that I can’t live without, and I am happy again. Everything that’s going to happen in the upcoming week is okay again.
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Things will be okay. I will get through this week with all of the trials and tribulations I will come in contact with, and I will stay strong and let myself get past this week.
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Just sent out my first internship email/questions, oh god cross your fingers for me that the email I just sent won’t look stupid to hopefully what will be the company I work with. CROSS YOUR DAMN FINGERS.
